Everything in the universe is intimately connected. I cannot help but believe that what we deem to be coincidences are in fact synchronistic events in action. It seems that everything comes into your path because of the energy you are emitting and the thoughts you are thinking. The experiences, encounters and moments we attract appear to occur in order to teach us a lesson. The goal is be awake in every single moment in order to see the signs. Realising our thoughts do not go unnoticed even if we think they do. Everything is seen and felt by the universe. We are intimately connected. We are the universe in action.
A few nights ago I went out to dinner with a bunch of my best friends. Afterwards we wandered down to Yours Truly, a popular Cape Town bar. I hadn’t been out in ages and was feeling a little out of place, toying with the idea of leaving. But forces in action led me to meeting a bunch of guys from overseas, who happened to be a band called The Very Best. The guys were here in order to open for Mumford and Sons on their SA tour. This encounter led to a week of hanging out with these crazy, humble musicians, watching them perform at Assembly and opening for Mumford live at the grand parade. I took some of them on a tiny tour of Cape Town and even had a mini backstage jam with them. Ultimately none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been out that night and more profoundly, if I hadn’t been going through what I am going through. Even though I wasn’t seeking anyone, or looking for such an experience, the universe responded to my energy, to my openness and thus united me with this bunch of friends I now consider family. This is how it works. We might not be able to see the forces in action, but I have no doubt they are there.
Last night we ended up sitting and drinking a bottle of wine with Baaba Maal, Senegal’s most internationally famous musician and one of the most incredible singers I have ever heard (casual). He dropped some overwhelmingly profound truth bombs and left me in absolute awe of his wisdom. When I told him about my lack of confidence, especially with singing he said, “The bird doesn’t sing to be heard, the bird just sings.” He reminded me that we make art not to impress others or to gain approval, but because it feels good. Because it makes us feel alive inside. Because it is natural and empowering and strengthening for the soul to sing like nobody’s listening. It reminds me of an Allen Ginsberg quote,
“To gain your own voice, you have to forget about having it heard.”
Baaba and the guys from the band were having an impromptu jam session backstage and I joined in, singing loud and without fear. It triggered a sense of nostalgia within me, of times spent traveling in South America and in South Africa, having drum circles and jam sessions outside beneath the stars or around a blazing fire and experiencing those rare and incredibly magic moments where I would be suddenly engulfed in a feeling of pure confidence and just sing. Sing loud and without fear. Nothing feels as good as those moments. Last night I felt it again. A moment of strength, of self confidence, of living in my truth.
This period of my life, when I am going through the most challenging and difficult physical and mental tests, I appear to be gaining confidence from the most unexpected of places. Realising that I am not my hair or my body, I am my soul. Realising that people love you not for how you look but for how you make them feel, for what you offer to the world, for the vibe you emit. Realising that what I have to offer is invaluable, irreplaceable. Stepping into my confidence, into my strength, not being afraid to show the world who I am anymore, not being afraid to sing loudly, to dance freely, to speak my piece, to shine my light. Through this illness doors are opening up all over the place, doors that are overflowing wildly with an abundance of incredible people and experiences and it’s all happening because I am becoming present and awakening to my individual power.
Never doubt yourself!
“One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. Soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.”
-Clarissa Pinkola Estés
The Very best, Baaba Maal and myself.