We stood in the midst of the monday night chaos and all I could feel with the urgency of this moment, my heartbeat pulsating rapidly, his a deafening cacophony against my chest as our bodies held each other in the vastness of the airport terminal. We kissed, strangers, lovers, temporarily one, two beings merged together as a world passed us by unnoticed, people we would never meet or touch or know carrying out their earthly existences. Yet nothing could touch us as we stood frozen in the seemingly vacuous building, with it’s shiny tiled floors and brightly lit ceilings. To feel the solid embrace of another, his skin pressed against mine, to feel so much security in a time when the river of insecurity ploughed so deep, to realise the precious transiency of a moment while it was happening, is this not the point of being here, to feel a moment so fully, so entirely while it is happening? To thrust oneself without fear or reservation into the blinding light of the now, to feel it all and then to let it go, to let it all go without any attachment, let the moment drip from your hands like water, like a shooting star ripping across a midnight blue sky, over in an instant but imprinted in your mind forever. Ten days prior this person hadn’t even existed and now here we stood in this airport terminal, waves of undulating love coursing through my blood and my bones as if we’d known each other for a thousand lives.
But isn’t this the beauty of the lives we live, the dreams we dream, the existences we experience, with all the chance encounters, connections and synchronistic meetings in crowded bars, in a sea of faces, a sea of lives being lived and there he was and there I was. Our eyes locked and for a moment the world became as still and quiet as the ocean on a windless night. Isn’t the mystery of life what makes it worth living, individuals passing one another by in the street, in the swells of society, strangers in constant motion, never knowing who we’ll meet next, encounters written in the stars long before our bodies come to merge and mingle. The fear lies in the panic that one will miss a meeting, that one will miss an opportunity, that one will not be in the right place at the right time. But to me this concept seems inconceivable for I believe we do not and can not miss what is meant for us, that we will always be there, we will always arrive right on time.
And as I stood in the tide of these rippling faces and he passed me by, a stranger, a world unbeknownst to me, destiny grabbed hold of our paths and flung them together, with the strength of unseen forces, forces we can never understand. Yet there we found one another, in a time and place when both of us longed to be found. In the light of my most vulnerable state, in the raw depths of uncertainty, he saw me and I saw him. A mirror, reflecting one another’s light and fragility. The reflection was blinding as I saw myself for the first time. A meeting of cathartic healing, a stitching of wounds, a reparation of all that had been crushed and buried and bruised under the weight of life’s hardships. There he was and there was I, distant strangers hailing from worlds so far apart, so far away that to place us together could only be the universe playing the fool, plucked from obscurity, one could only laugh at the absurdity of it all. A fleeting embrace for both of us would surely return to our lives, two different sides of the same sprawling globe, the world would spin madly on.
But what was left behind was the knowledge in my mind that everything happens exactly as it should. We do not need to interfere, to try and play God, to frantically attempt to reorganise these interactions, meddling in the madness can only bring about suffering. We should rather live in awareness, in openness, in a state of thriving, vibrating expectancy of all the wonder yet to come and remember: even in the darkest of days, light will always find you. Optimism will grab pessimism by his toes and shake until pennies hoarded over the years out of fear, fall from his pockets and scatter wildly into the fountain of trust. If you just stand tall in the glowing light of abundant expectancy. It’s all up and down, in and out, yin and yang.
What remained behind was a forever connection. Two souls intertwined for eternity. And lest we forget, a newfound courage born from the happiness felt in my heart, a knowledge that what is meant for you, will never miss you.